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Aardvarks

Why?

Well, ...we're not sure, actually.The word 'aardvark' somehow replaced 'ready' as a resonse to whoever was driving Cubase asking 'everyone ready for a take', and then people started asking 'what do you call an aardvark who...?' jokes.

So, here we go:

What do you call an aardvark who:

...is a member of the Mafia?

A well 'ardvark.

...has multiple lacerations?

A scarredvark.

...isn't very bright?

A retardvark.

...is of dubious parentage?

A bastardvark.

...works on the roads?

A tarredvark.

...got attacked by a dragon?

A charredvark.

...is captain of the Enterprise?

Jean Luc Picardvark.

...who drops a grenade at its feet?

Hoist by its own petardvark.

...likes Bruce Willis movies?

Dai Aardvark (singing 'Under the Bard Vark', of course).

...is very butch and reads Kipling?

Rudyardvark.

...just spent a weekend recording with Phoenix?

A knackardvark.