Ok: I'll come clean. This is a rant! I've tried to categorise a few types of online RPer we all know and probably loathe:
I'm sure you've all met the type. Finds one or more characters on the MU* who are the caring type, and clings to them like glue to be loved and fussed over. And if the carer has healing magic or other ways of really putting themselves out, even better. Except that It Never Really Works. They're back, with some new, subtle variant on the same, a week after being healed at great personal cost to the carer. No backbone, no self-belief, and no change.
Ever felt like you were doing all the work in a scene? You've been RPing with a leech. You know the kind of thing: everything you offer as an impetus for RP is replied to in as few words as possible: you know her friend - she says 'how nice'; you remark on his clothes - he says 'thank you': you deliberately pose to "accidentally" reveal that scar - she manages to be too polite to comment. In short, you dangle out carrot after a carrot to make RP, and you get zip in return.
In some ways, this is a subclass of leech, but it merits its own class for one very important distinction. It never interacts. Picture the group scene: a party, or a bar, or any crowd. And there's someone on the outside, and every 15 or twenty minutes he or she poses that he's there. And every five minutes, or less, one or other of the group tries to draw them in. And they.. do.. nothing. Just... watch. Creepy.
It's half a day across the MUSH. And yet they're always where the RP is. Even if their last scene was five minutes ago, ten miles away. And they always have absolutely no respect for time sequencing.
To be fair, there's a line between this class and decent RPers. There's no harm in a general 'anyone want to RP'. But when it's begging, personalised pages every hour... Often combined with another of these classes, typically the Perpetual Victim.
A beggar variant: it's more personal, and all because you were nice to them once. 'Hello' in their vocabulary gets replaces by "HiwouldyouliketoRPwithme?", and they treat any page at all from you as an invitation to tell you everything that's happened to them in the last three days.
If it's not nailed down (or @locked), this lovable little creature will pick it up and make off with it. Even if there are big IC clues it might belong to someone else who Just Might Get Pissed.
Poses. My GOD does he or she pose. Portentious, dramatic, lecturing. We are talking major literary works each pose, with enough to take on board and react to that the scene slows down to two rounds of poses an hour. And worse, this one is infectious, causing everyone else to match them in an effort to share the limelight. Leeches love 'em.
Subtle, this one. Turns up on your carefully crafted game. And knows *exactly* what he or she wants to play, be it some character from their own imaginings, from some other MUSH, or whatever. No matter that your world doesn't allow such a character, or it doesn't fit with your detailed theme. Which, of course, they've never read. And it's utterly facist of you not to allow them to play exactly what they want.
This is a Wannabe variant. The good news is that what they want is within the scope of your game. The BAD is that they want it all, and they want it now. "No" to them means "reword your application for 100 extra points slightly and try again", and the idea of growing into the final character concept over the course of a few months RP and experience gain is utterly alien. Reaction when thwarted is identical to the Wannabe.
Another wannabe variant. This one just hasn't grasped the concept of personality. Every character concept he comes up with and applies for is a schtick, be it a power, a device, or whatever, inhabited by a cardboard cutout. He always describes the character in terms of the schtick, and hasn't a CLUE what the person inside is like. Advice? Go make him write for a kids cartoon series, a bad SF movie, or Marvel Comics.
Just... *shudder*. We've all seen the type. Either their stats are minimaxed to the hilt, or they just haven't read the guidelines on what level of skill a stat represents. Whichever, they're always 'the best swordsman in <insert name of out of the way place they just invented>': a delusion which either results in a very very ubpleasant lesson from the first genuine hero they piss off, a quick transmutation into a whining Wannabe or Gottahave, or worst, of all, they stand revealed as:
Unkillable. Unbelievable. Unteachable. Probably thinks this is a Diku. Nuff said.
Doesn't want to die. Knows the consent rule inside and out, and lives by it. Walks into situations that any sane rational person would run screaming from, or enter fully expecting to die, and demands to be allowed to survive, becuase he or she doesn't consent to die. Despite the warnings only an idiot could miss..
Male. Even if the character isn't (which is rare, because guys playing women is, y'know.. kinda pansy). Hits on everything that looks or sounds female, and assumes it's female RL (because guys playing women is, y'know.. kinda pansy). Even if the female's desc is ugly or over seventy or under 10. (desc? Uh? What's one of those?)
Can't read. Not even the note in the startup room that says 'please read the following'. Expects you to do his or her reading for him, and explain exactly what the game is about, despite the fact you spent three weeks on 'news theme' and the web pages.
Wants to visit every room in the game. Even the ones that a blind, deaf, brainless idiot would realise are private, like people's bedrooms, or kitchens in restaurants. Must get his or her face slapped, or thrown out by musclebound heavies, in RL every day of their life.
To put it succintly, likes the sound of his or her own voice. Or perhaps that should be the sight of his own words. Easily identifiable by the way that people leave the Public channel in droves as soon as it starts to hold forth on some topic that's either near and dear to its heart. or deliberately chosen to be controversial. Basically, it wants attention. Don't give it any.
A miracle of engineering, beloved of anime and superhero artists everywhere. Wears armour that certainly doesn't protect and probably causes a nasty rash in unmentionable places. How she stays upright with all that upper body devlopment is beyond anyone, and as for the sword, Conan'd have trouble lifting it. Oddly, 90% of these are redheads.