Anne's Diary - Jan 2nd-5th

Anne has decided to keep some sort of diary of the evnts around James' birth and onwards. For now this is being typed in by Mike off the back of various envelopes, but once she gets home she'll take over. Editorial comments from Mike are in square brackets.

For her latest entry click here.

Jan 2nd 11:00pm

Started getting wet spots on underwear, had to put a pad in which got soaked in an hour. This came in spourts rather than a flood: confusing - was it incontinence or labour? Phoned midwife [Mike's maxim: when in doubt, phone the midwife...] - she said come in.

Jan 3rd 12:30am

Confirmed waters breaking, but only mild contractions so sent home. Mike went to sleep, I went to bed.

Jan 3rd 2.30am

Got up again, had a bath.

Jan 3rd 3.30am

Woke Mike to go back in. Contractions now obvious [and uncomfortable] and every 3-4 mins. Midwife said now 3cm dilated, so I could have any pain killer.
Tried Entonox (gas/air mix): made me very dizzy: threw up.
Tried Diamorphine (whoooeee, man...) [injection]: made me woozy: threw up.
Also had Maxolon to stop me throwing up: threw up.

Useful phrases [Babies appear to drain your vocabulary]

Mike:
  • "Chin on chest. Push."
  • "Come on, breathe!"
  • "You're doing great."
Anne:
  • "Arghhhhhh...."
  • "No!"
  • "Phhhhhhhyyyyyyeeeeeowwww!"
  • "Can I push now?"

Jan 3rd 9.00am

Eventually decided pain was getting through the Diamorphine, so asked for an epiduiral. Got this at 9.20: wonderful next hour [Anne spent it largely asleep, certainly oblivious to her surroundings and contractions], then had to push!

Jan 3rd 10:43am

Baby arrived - had cord round his neck.
[Which rather glosses over the whole thing: the things that stuck in my (Mike's) mind were Anne's distinctly red with effort colour, the very down to earth advice offered by the ward sister, and the not inconsiderable quantity of blood that accompanied James' arrival - neither Brenda the midwife or the ward sister seemed to be worrying about this, so I didn't. Oh, and the fact that she evidently couldn't throw up and push...]

Eventually got placenta out and had my body bits checked - small superficial tear - no stiches.

Jan 3rd 11:30am

Weighed baby - 3.210kg (7lb 1.5oz). Staff did 5 minute 'whatever it is' checks they do to check that he isn't anaemic/jaundiced/cyanosed etc [not to mention that he has two eyes, ears and nostrils, 10 fingers and toes, and the correct bits]. Also measured him - length 36.1cm, head circumference 33cm. James also has a curling-in left foot (due to sticking it under my ribs for two months and hanging from it) - it should resolve by itself in a few weeks.

They decided I didn't need stitches, so next was a shower and a quick trip to Victoria Ward in a wheelchair with Mike toddling behind with James' fish tank. This is what the cribs look like: either that or a cat litter tray or a plant propogator - I prefer fish tank. The ward is pretty empty so I get a 4-bed room to myself.

Threw up.

A note on medical terms (Mike)

However much the medical profession may try and kid you otherwise, medical terms never explain, they just describe. For example, 'hyperemesis' comes from 'hyper' (lots) + 'emesis' (from the same root as 'emetic', being sick). Thus 'hyperemesis' meains 'being sick lots'. Similarly, a common condition in the dog is 'distal caudal oscillatory hyperkinesia'. Serious, isn't it? Well actually, it means 'the bit on the end of the back moves from side to side a lot...'
One midwife who had met me when I was in with hyperemesis (morning sickness) said "Figures! Thought I'd seen you here before! The rest of the morning was a bit of a blur - Mike went home somewhen [around 1pm]. I tried to feed James, unsucessfully. Everyone said 'never mind, try later."

Threw up.

My neck hurts, my insides hurt. my vulva hurts (especially in urinating: ladies. this STINGS! Apparently even more if you have stitches).

Jan 3rd afternoon

Managed to feed James twice in the afternoon for a total of 8 minutes without him giving up. Thought this was a great achievement until I was told that 10 minutes each time was good.

My neck hurt. Threw up.

Jan and Adie [friends, bringing Mike who was way too tired to drive safely] and Tim and Annie [friends] came to visit [bringing assorted presents and hugs]. Mike's dad Alan (Grandad!) came to visit [and drove Mike home again. We printed off a batch of shots from the digital camera for Mike's mum, who had to stay home].

My neck hurt. Threw up.

James slept from 11pm to 7am without stirring. [So did Mike]. What bliss.

Jan 4th 7:00am

I wanted to wake James up for a feed but was persuaded not to. So I had a bath instead. My neck was still hurting, but no more throwing up.

Cup Feeding

It has been determined, somehow, that the muscles and reflexes a baby uses for breast feeding are different to those used for bottle feeding. This is where the trouble all starts, since once you've bottle-fed your baby, he loses the breast-feeding reflex, so you can't go to breast-feeding later, but you can go the other way.

It is all too easy to decide you are not cut out for breast feeding and give up after one attempt. Fine for some people, after all, everything is about choice these days, but I wasn't going to give up quite so easily. So if James wouldn't attach to the breast, I couldn't just give him a bottle to tide him over. This is where cup feeding comes in. What they do is pour a little bit of formula milk into a cup, hold baby up and dribble a little into the mouth at a time, The only reflex baby has to learn is swallowing.

More visitors this morning: the anaesthetist; the physiotherapist; my mum and dad (Nana and Grandad); Mike (of course) and the paediatrician. Even a full change and prod couldn't get James enough to feed, so had to cup feed him. I could not hold James well enough to keep him on the breast without my neck going into spasm, and James was being an awkward soandso - wonder where he gets it from?

The neck - all caused by pushing with chin on chest during labour - pinged a joint in the neck and now it keeps going into spasm. A discussion woth the anaesthetist and physiotherapist decided hat is was probably neck joing and muscle problems, rather than a spinal problem resulting from the epidural. If it were that, the anaesthetist could have done another epidural, injected some of my blood and magicked it all better. I don't get anything easy enough to get instant relief, of course.

Jan 4th 7:00pm

James fed for 8 min. We're getting there.

Jan 5th 0:00am

James woke up - tried to breast feed. Midwife had no patience, and we got on very poorly. I eventually got him attached by sitting up at a really strange angle with a crick in my neck. James very hungry and fell off after 5 minutes. Midwife not happy and decided to cup feed James. James though this was GREAT! No effort, no sucking. no silly positions. Just FOOD! Wonder where he got that from? So, first cup feed he took 50 ml (it's a bit messy and a lot dribbles out), and then the midwife decided to stop. James had other ideas. and no way did he want to stop. He had about 100ml of formula - very hungry chappie. I felt useless, James [happily oblivious] went to sleep.

Jan 5th 7:00am

Woke up several times in the night feeling depressed over how useless a mother I was not to be able to provide for my baby, and when James woke at 7am screaming for food, I was screaming in agony - my whole neck had gone into tension spasm, so I couldn't have breast fed James even if he and I had wanted to. The same brusque midwife whipped James away and gave him 100 ml of cup feed. Happy, contented feeling James. Unhappy and helpless feeling Anne.

Another busy morning of visitors, but mostly staff. The anaesthetist came and still decided that the problem wasn't related to the epidureal, so he could not give me the blood patch. Bummer. No instant relief for me. He suggested the physio came - left messages with her, but she was ill so wouldn't see me till the next day.

Kerry the midwife came on duty at 9.30 am. Kerry is an angel! She examined me, and James slept. We decided not to wake him up to feed till around 12noon, but had plans to try and persevere with breast feeding. This we did, and James, bless him, attached well after about 30 mins trying, and fed for 17 mins. Kerry and I worked really hard and she gave me confidence to keep trying. (Her own breast feeding experience, she said, was a struggle for the first 4-6 weeks before it became easy.) James grizzled for about an hour and a half, so we tried the other breast: against about 20 minutes trying before he latched on and fed for [you guessed it] 17 minutes. (Apparently I have 17 minute milk supplies.) 90 more minutes of grizzling later, Mike and I got him latched on in about 90 seconds flat. and he fed for 25 minutes. Sore breasts. Happy Anne. Grizzly James. Kerry came in and sat with James in her lap and rubbed him for half an hour while chatting to us. Apparently he was windy, and once he had burped properly [or was that proudly] he settled for the night. Thanks Kerry!

Visitors for the evening: Mike, Geoff and Heather [Anne's work], Michelle and Mark [friends].

Continued here.
Anne Whitaker
Last modified: Fri Jan 14 21:47:27 GMT 2000