Experts in the Field

I wrote this song as a result of stumbling across the Crop Circle Connector web-site, and spending the next two hours totally absorbed... 8-)

I hope no-one's going to take this song too seriously... 8-)

e-mail me: Dan Bennett

Am                                 E
Many were the pints of ale that we imbibed that night,
E7                        Am
Sitting in a pub in Alton Barnes.
    Dm                              Am
The clientelle had tales to tell of weird and wondrous sights
   B7                             E
So we sat back to listen to their yarns.
              Dm
They spoke of strange formations,
     Am
With mystic explanations,
B7                             E7  B7  E7
Pictograms and fractals on the farms;
    Am                             Dm
But smirking at each other we knew we had seen the light,
E7                           Am
Sitting in that pub in Alton Barnes.

              A                     D
    Oh it's a darn good wheeze when folks believe
        E                       A     E7
    The things that you do as a prank;
               A               D
    It's just amazing what you can achieve
         E                        A      E
    With fifty foot of wire and a plank!

Slipping quietly from the bar we scarpered up the lane,
Picking up our kit wot we'd concealed.
We found a likely farm gate with a padlock and a chain,
Climbing it we slipped into the field.
We staggered to the middle,
(Where Gary did a piddle,
Well he wasn't looking all that even-keeled;)
But we stretched the wire tight, cos we knew we'd seen the light,
And dragged the plank in circles in the field.
Oh it's a darn good wheeze when folks believe
The things that you do as a prank;
It's just amazing whom you can deceive
With fifty foot of wire and a plank!
We'd drawn a dozen circles and a pentagram or two,
And Tinky-Winky kicking Laa-Laa's knee,
When suddenly a trilling sound was heard from out the blue,
And funny things were happ'ning, we could see.
The wheat began to flatten
In a geometric pattern
Two hundred yards across or maybe three;
But we were took with fright - 'cos we saw a bloomin' light
Swooping from the sky right over me!
Oh it's a darn good wheeze when folks believe
The things that you do as a prank;
But the Circlemakers never would heave
Fifty foot of wire and a plank!
My hair stood up on end as the stems began to bend
Clockwise, multi-layered, round my feet.
I couldn't move a muscle though I thought I'd met my end
Surrounded by the wind, the light, the heat.
Then suddenly the violence
Gave way to lightless silence,
A transformation sudden and complete;
We both blinked in the night 'cos we'd seen an alien light,
And then we ran in terrified retreat.
Oh it's a darn good wheeze when folks believe
The things that you do as a prank;
But I swear I'll never go out again
With fifty foot of wire and a plank!
Later that same evening, a pair of white-faced blokes
Were sitting in a pub in Alton Barnes.
The tale they had to tell sure impressed the local folks
Who never tire of Circlemaking yarns.
They spoke of strange formations,
With mystic explanations,
And funny goings-on down on the farm;
And they told them of the night when they saw that alien light,
Sitting in the pub in Alton Barnes.
Oh it's a darn good wheeze when folks believe
The things that you do as a prank;
It's just amazing what you can achieve
With fifty foot of wire and a plank!

But before you go, you ought to know
Even though you may think me a crank...
You should never into the fields go
With fifty foot of wire and a plank!